Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Adventures with the er, Red Queen

I'm home today, trying to get my act back together, take it easy, regroup on the how to get out of the rabbit hole. I feel pretty good. Meds are kickin' in. Life is relatively easy.

Except there's blood on my bed. WTF? Can't be me, I had those bits removed. Dogs and cats periodically have a run-in with a branch or each other. I hazily start physical inspection. No cuts or bruises that I can spot.

And then a terrifying, mind-numbing, Murphy-is-out-to-get-me thought. Tara's entered in her first show this weekend. Could she have.....? NO. Not possible. I don't have enough meds to cope with this.

I've done enough lure coursing and racing roll calls to know how to do bum inspection. Oh Dear God. Tara does NOT pass bum inspection. Deep sigh. Oh well, I'm a girl, I can deal with this. I have really cute sock monkey panties (thanks Patience!) and panti-liners, saved just for this purpose.

Tara does not grasp the whole diaper-for-a-cookie trade, but she'll work with it.

Then she promptly heads out the doggie door. Crap, I think. She's gonna take off the panties.

No, no, that's not apparently how this works with teen-agers. The panties are still on, and soaked with pee. Deep Sigh. Lesson One. Block dog door.

Off with sock monkey panties, into the washer. Clean up dog. On with back-up pair of Kooky-Wacky panties (thank you Patience).

Now must wash sheets. Anyone else wanting to offer advice, feel free. Remember I'm already on calming meds. Might need a drink too.

Jenn. First time mom of teen-age girl.

14 comments:

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whippet... said...

Okay - warned you about the panties on when "dog in season" heads outside! I had to deal with it twice and Marc once. And the sock monkey panties too (I love the pair Patience made for Becca) - so tragic.

Have fun and call if you need any other advice!!

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whippet... said...

So when Tara's in "wearing panties" season - dog door must be sealed up and humans become dog door openers - so you can get into the panties off/panties on rhythm. And at night I'd crate Tara and then (this is the hard bit!) you can open the dog door so Nike etc can access the yard. And in the morning you close the dog door again and so it goes for a few weeks.

Jenn And The City said...

I remember the warning, I just didn't get it was going to happen ten seconds after I put the sock monkey panties ON......

Mo said...

"I had those bits removed" also. I only had one girl dog, and I got her bits removed before any signs of a heat. And Duncan is a boy dog, and he has tea bags for bits! So, no help from me, but hang in there!!!

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whippet... said...

Oh yes - it's like stepping back into some puppy time weirdness. And hopefully Tara is a good girl and isn't a mass of wiggling, gyrating girlydom while you're trying to get the d*** (!) pants back on when she comes back into the house. And hopefully she's only due for a normal season not the extended version I went through the second last time!

Anonymous said...

Girlie girlie.....yep they do pee and poo in those dang cutie patootie panties given the opportunity......oh and I suggest you don't put them in the dryer....they may shrink a teeny weeny bit.......better buy another spare pair! P's bitches britches rock!

Glad you are home, r

Anonymous said...

To anybody not familiar with the context in which you write, this would be a post worthy of some serious psychiatric study...

Mary Moore said...

Yikes. I didn't know these things existed! Wish I'd had them when we had our little doggy when I was but a child...ahh, the memories of dripping and horny male dogs trying to get into our house...

PeachMelba said...

Also another thing to watch for... She MAY EAT her panties! Bella has eaten three pairs. First one's cut in half the others shredded and partially devoured. ACK! So be on the look out for undie eating girl, it could happen to you too...

I am so glad mine are getting spayed!!!!!

~A

Jenn And The City said...

Anyone confused by Melba's comment: THEY DO NOT MAKE EDIBLE UNDIES FOR DOGS!

When a Problem Comes Along, You Must Whippet... said...

Well I must say that Becca has NEVER eaten either pair of her panties . . . (aristocratic sniff) :-) (and just to supply full info, as mentioned earlier we also have a pair of sock monkeys and the alternate pair are the blue magic bunnies)

Patience is a goddess - I don't know what we'd do!

Patience-please said...

Instructions which come with all panties:
Never leave panties (occupied or empty) unattended, as they WILL be eaten.

Favorite panty story:
A customer had her non-doggy mom dogsit for a WEEKEND. When she came home, she exclaimed, "Oh, good! You put Lilly's panties back on!"
Her mom looked totally mystified, and said, "Panties?"
Ewwwwwww.

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Jenn and the City

An Award

An Award
Thanks Patience!

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