Sunday, March 22, 2009

A Creative Idea....

Anyone out there want to help me out and give me some writing subjects? You give me subject, I write a blog about it.

Instant cure for the dreaded WB!

As The Bunny Turns

I'm no better off this morning than I was last night - I still have horrific writer's block and I still have nothing to say.

The only way through this is to just keep writing, even if it's inane ramblings. Anyone looking for a profound commentary today should probably click the "next blog" button at the top of the page.

Of course, anyone looking for "profound" probably isn't a regular reader of this blog anyway.

Today Tara is going lure coursing. She gets to run by herself in two stakes at the LMWA event in Canada. Tara's done plenty of straight course work, but she's never been lure coursing. She doesn't know yet that the bunny is going to turn corners. I wish I was going to be close enough to see her expression when the bunny turns and keeps going.

Hopefully the weather holds. There's nothing like coursing and racing in the rain. Here we are last weekend.

Indeed, that is snow falling on our race meet.

No thank you!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

All Play and No Work....

There is absolutely nothing interesting happening. I have severe writer's block.

Clearly I need to go back to work. Hanging at home is boring.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Ring Around The Collar

Dear Blog:

Blogline March 10, 2009 - 1:51 p.m.
Okay, who the hell is the crazy Canadian who found the blog by searching Google for "Wal-mart Truck Carrying Guillotines"? I gotta go try that for myself. Can you buy guillotines at Wal-mart? And why would you want to? Going to a costume party as Marie Antoinette and want a prop? I'm so confused.

Blogline March 10, 2009 - 1:05 p.m.
Where does all this laundry come from anyway? I have a theory that laundry reproduces itself in the hamper, or in Nick's case, on his bedroom floor. It does this to make up for the fact that the dryer periodically eats socks, and in my case, the occasional pair of jeans or shoes.

Every time I turn around, more laundry.

I wouldn't mind if it reproduced better than itself. If some Dolce & Gabbana or Prada, for example, were to show up in the basket, I'd be okay with that. But noooooo. I get men's t-shirts that say "Nike" or "Adidas" or "If You Don't Like My Attitude, Quit Talking To Me".

Obviously I need a new breeding program for the dirty clothes. Maybe if I went out and actually purchased some D&G or DKNY I would get better progeny. I wonder what happens when you outcross Hanes with La Perla. I suppose you'd end up with really expensive boxer shorts.

Sounds like a great motive to go shopping, doesn't' it? There's a practical reason to go buy some new clothes...

Monday, March 9, 2009

Come Monday

Dear Blog:



Blogline, March 9, 2009 - 12:44 p.m.
Four inches of snow and it's still dumping on us. WTF? I talked Nick into bringing everything in the MH shower into the house. Gross. Cold, wet, muddy laundry. I don't even want to touch the cold, wet, muddy laundry.

Blogline, March 9, 2009 - 4:30 p.m.
Still snowing. My poor daffodils. Weather SUCKS!

Blogline, March 9, 2009 - 6:00 p.m.
Laundry done. I still have sand in my teeth. Nike refused to come in after dinner. He's standing out in the snow freezing his patootie off, all because he doesn't want his nails trimmed. We both need Xanax!

The Weather is Here.

Dear Blog:

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 9:30 a.m.

Some of us have hangovers. Not me. Still stiff and sore. We take one last ride in the rain out to the ocean. Ginormous swirling white waves and miles of beautiful sandy beach. I would probably have more appreciation for this gorgeous place if I wasn't Freezing To Death. My thumb is getting too numb to work the throttle. Back at camp, my solution to the wet muddy clothing problem is to throw everything in the MH shower and shut the door.

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 12:30 p.m.
On the road again. Hopefully, the trip home will be somewhat less eventful than the trip down.

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 1:00 p.m.
Rain

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 1:30 p.m.
Snow

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 2:00 p.m.
Sleet

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 2:30 p.m.
Sun

Blogline March 8, 2009 - 3:00 p.m.
More snow

Blogline, March 8, 2009 - 4:00 p.m.
Sun and hail together

Blogline, March 9, 2009 - 4:30 p.m.
Locusts. Oh, wait, that was the last trip to Oregon. Never mind.

Blogline, March 9, 2009 - 9:00 p.m.
Home. Finally. Whew! Great trip, beautiful scenery, and decent weather until today.

Rollin, Rollin, Rollin

Dear Blog:

Blogline, March 6, 2009 - 2:00 p.m.

Mental Note: Do not turn sideways while attempting to climb steep hills on ATV. You will fall off the quad on the downhill side, and the quad will land on top of you as it somersaults end over end down the hill. Getting run over by a rolling ATV hurts. Gravity sucks.

Blogline, March 6, 2009 - 7:00 p.m.

Hematoma not quite the size of Akron on side and shoulder where quad hit me. Still finding sand in my teeth. Advil not helpful. Yellowtail Pinot Grigio helpful. Thank God for helmets.

Blogline, March 7, 2009 - 8:30 a.m.

I feel like I was hit by a truck. Oh, yeah, I was hit by a rolling vehicle. Still have sand in my teeth. Got stuck on the same hill I rolled on yesterday. Tell Rob I need a quad with more power so I can make it up hills. I don't know why he just shakes his head and sighs.

Blogline, March 7, 2009 - 5:30 p.m.
The neighbors in the next camping space lose their dog. We search entire H loop of the campground looking for Deke the Lab.

Blogline, March 7, 2009 - 6:00 p.m.
Deke found sleeping in the back of the neighbor's truck.

Blogline, March 7, 2009 - 10:00 p.m.
Guys playing Risk and drinking Crown and Coke. Rob tries to roast marshmallow with his bare hands. I shake my head and sigh.

The Front Fell Off...

Dear Blog:

Blogline 3/4/2009 11:43 p.m. (just south of Portland, OR)

Val and Travis' ATV trailer has come apart on I-5. When I say "come apart" I literally mean two separate pieces - only the chains stopped it from coming off. Interesting to watch a trailer being dragged by only its chains at 55 mph. Lots of sparks, fishtailing, etc. Fortunately, Travis gets it pulled to the side of the road. There is no shoulder here, and semis are whizzing by a foot away. JR pulls up behind us and bungee straps the trailer to the truck so we can get it to the next exit. Redneck hitch!

Blogline 3/5/2009 1:30 a.m.
The plan is to rent a u-haul trailer to carry the broken trailer. We circle the wagons to spend the rest of the night in the U-haul parking lot. I've never camped in a U-haul parking lot before. There is a sign on the fence that says that "suspicious activity will be investigated by law enforcement". Since clearly we're suspicious, we spend the night waiting for the SWAT team to surround us. No one gets any sleep.

Blogline 3/5/2009 6:30 a.m.
We get up to greet the U-haul employees. Turns out their big trailers are only licensed to carry cars. Plan B - a mobile welder is called to come weld the trailer back together.

Blogline 3/5/2009 10:00 a.m.
Wal-mart, where we were planning to spend the night last night. We're just a bit behind schedule.

Blogline 3/5/2009 1:30 p.m.
Costco (Churros, lunch of champions!) Gas is only $1.87/gallon!

Blogline 3/5/2009 4:00 p.m.
Arrive Honeyman S.P. and set up camp. Can you say "exhausted"?

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Blogline 3/4/09

Dear Blog:

Blogline - 9:30 am
I'm going to throw this laptop out a window in a minute if it doesn't behave. I wonder if there are obedience classes for computers, like there are for dogs. "Laptop, boot up Windows". I have an excellent idea for a hand signal for that command. :-)

Blogline - 1:00 pm
Question: How many times do I have to take "stuff" out to the motor home to get it ready for a four-day trip?
Answer: 42 (If you don't read Douglas Adams you won't get that).

Blogline - 6:30 pm
Waiting to depart. This place is worse than a freakin' airport. For those of you traveling on our scheduled 6:00 pm drive to Florence, with stops at Wal-mart, Costco and Florence, your drive has been delayed while waiting for some members of the crew to arrive home from work. We currently anticipate a 7:30 departure time, and we apologize for any inconvenience. For those of you who intended to change drivers or vehicles at Wal-mart or Costco, those arrangements will be duplicated to accomodate the later arrival. All drivers should attempt to get some sleep at this time, as we will not be arriving at Wal-mart until quite late this evening.

I hope I have wi-fi at the dunes. Y'all are going to miss me if I don't have wi-fi..

Blogline - 6:52 pm
Deb has sent me a picture of her new slippers. Rob doesn't understand this. Apparently guys would not think to send each other footwear photos. Strange. I don't understand.

Blogline - 7:00 pm
Ladies and Gentlemen: Your 6:30 drive to Wal-mart, Costco and Florence is now boarding at the motor home in the driveway. For passengers who have reserved sleeping accomodations in the rear of our craft, please note that there will be no top sheet for the first leg of our trip.

Uh, oh. Gotta go.....

Later, gators.

Tuesday, March 3, 2009

Dear Blog: 3/3/2009

Blogline 10:30 am
Dear Blog-

Sorry I fell off the grid there for a bit. I've had a bad code. Cold. For two weeks. There ought to be a law about colds -- they're only allowed for a short time and then they have to go on, like visiting in-laws and jury duty. It is so totally inconvenient when they linger about for weeks and disrupt your schedule. It's not that you can't do anything, but you don't have enough time, effort or energy to do something.

Today I get to do something special. I get to go to the laundromat. Damn. I'm not even sure I can spell laundromat. (Thank God for spell check) Anyway, the motor home blankets don't fit in our washer.

Hopefully I don't get lost doing the laundry....

Blogline 3:29 pm
I did get lost doing the laundry! Went to the Fred Meyer complex, and then remembered that I was supposed to go there after I did the laundry. Turned around, got back on highway, focused on LAUND....CRAP! Where the hell? I'm half-way through the valley headed for the hills, on my merry way south. My sub-conscious self felt the need to migrate? That's probably not it. Probably I'm just not entirely functional when I'm alone yet. Wait for the day when I phone from Belize. Ugh. On a brighter note, I didn't contemplate driving the car into a tree. It's always a good day when you can drive without masochism.

However: Note to self. Eating half a bag of FM jelly beans is a Bad Idea. Check and see if there is a Jelly Beans Anonymous group to join. I wonder if you can jelly bean yourself to death. I bet there's not an ICD-9 code for that. Note to others: there is an ICD-9 code for death by guillotine. Seriously. Okay, can you say "sugar buzz"?

Blogline 4:30 pm
Damn. I knew I'd forget something at the grocery store. $200 worth of groceries to feed four people for four days, and I forgot the pesto. At least I remembered the jelly beans....

Also, that laundry I tried to take to Central America? Motor home bedding? I went to make the bed up and I have one sheet. The fitted sheet. Aren't there usually TWO sheets? Where's the top sheet? Did I lose it? How does one lose a top sheet? I know the dryer can eat socks, but a full-size freakin SHEET? The Belize-istas must've stolen it. Yeah, that's right. A radical Belizean home-decor cartel bed-napped my sheet. That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Blogline 5:00 pm
Another Note: Always check home dryer for cats before you throw the laundry in. Cats don't like being buried in wet laundry. Sorry Stan.

Blogline 6:30 pm
Rob home. Says there was never a top sheet for that bed. (Ewwww.... Note to self: Get top sheet for MH bed tomorrow) He doesn’t understand my grumbling about radical Belizean home-d├ęcor cartels.
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Jenn and the City

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Thanks Patience!

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