Ring Around The Collar

Dear Blog:

Blogline March 10, 2009 - 1:51 p.m.
Okay, who the hell is the crazy Canadian who found the blog by searching Google for "Wal-mart Truck Carrying Guillotines"? I gotta go try that for myself. Can you buy guillotines at Wal-mart? And why would you want to? Going to a costume party as Marie Antoinette and want a prop? I'm so confused.

Blogline March 10, 2009 - 1:05 p.m.
Where does all this laundry come from anyway? I have a theory that laundry reproduces itself in the hamper, or in Nick's case, on his bedroom floor. It does this to make up for the fact that the dryer periodically eats socks, and in my case, the occasional pair of jeans or shoes.

Every time I turn around, more laundry.

I wouldn't mind if it reproduced better than itself. If some Dolce & Gabbana or Prada, for example, were to show up in the basket, I'd be okay with that. But noooooo. I get men's t-shirts that say "Nike" or "Adidas" or "If You Don't Like My Attitude, Quit Talking To Me".

Obviously I need a new breeding program for the dirty clothes. Maybe if I went out and actually purchased some D&G or DKNY I would get better progeny. I wonder what happens when you outcross Hanes with La Perla. I suppose you'd end up with really expensive boxer shorts.

Sounds like a great motive to go shopping, doesn't' it? There's a practical reason to go buy some new clothes...