Sunday, February 17, 2008

Attack of the Dishwasher ~ Jenn's Version

“Attack of The Dishwasher” ~ Jenn’s Version

My friend Patience has a post with this same name. It is quite funny, and if you haven’t checked it out, go to the Patience link to the right and find it on her blog. Anyway, I’m pretty sure that there must be dishwasher conspiracy. I have long been convinced that photocopy machines are alien probes sent here to collect data. That’s why they always jam when you’re in a hurry – they know it’s something important and they want to make note of it. I now believe that dishwashers were sent to test my ability to cope with the world.

When I was living with my friend Laura, we had dishwasher issues. At one point, a part mysteriously became detached from the dishwasher and we were simply unable to determine where it came from. Since the dishwasher still worked, I decided we didn’t need it. My suggestion was to just toss it, but Laura wisely chose to set it aside. Good thing too, as it later turned out to be the water distributor (not sure that’s really what it’s called). Those were fun times. Some day I’ll tell the WD-40 story, but not here and now. Mike and Marty can just hold their tongues.

My dishwasher at my Bellingham house belonged to a dishwasher union. It worked a certain number of times, and then it flat stopped. Done. No more. I missed hours of work due to appointments with the Sears repair man. I was about ready to give the guy his own house key. Fortunately for me, it was under warranty. Sears finally got sick of sending my buddy out every few weeks and replaced the motor.

I am not a home-owners good luck charm. Some day I’ll use the blog to tell the Garage Door Chronicles. There is also a chapter on “How Not to Glue Finger to Dog Door Whilst Installing Weather Stripping”.

Apparently I now have the opportunity to pass the joy on to Rob. We returned home on Super Bowl Sunday after the game to find the kitchen floor was not as we left it. When we left, one could walk across the floor and there was no water seeping up through the laminate flooring. When we left, the floor was nice and flat, with no ripples and buckling. When we left, the cabinets next to the dishwasher didn’t have any water between the cabinet base and the floor. There was also no water in the kitchen furnace duct. Not so upon our return. Attack of the Evil, Evil Dishwasher!

Thursday after Super Bowl (February 7), the Servpro guys showed up to evaluate and begin repairs. I got home on Thursday night to find that half the kitchen floor was ripped out, the kitchen itself was encased in huge strips of plastic sheeting, and two industrial strength drying fans were running. And a de-humidifier. The Evil Dishwasher was visiting the elliptical trainer in the dining room, and the oven was inconveniently positioned in front of the cabinet where I store the dogfood.

Did I mention that industrial strength drying fans are LOUD? That particular kitchen configuration lasted from Thursday the 7th to Monday the 11th. If not for the noise, it wouldn’t have been so bad. I managed to fish out the dogfood and we cooked on the barbecue.

I came home Monday to general peace and quiet. The plastic sheeting was gone, and the only foreign appliance was the relatively quiet de-humidifier. The oven had returned to its normal station. However. Half the kitchen cabinets were ripped out and their contents were in boxes. That includes the cabinet that used to hold the kitchen sink. The sink was in the dining room next to the Evil Dishwasher and the elliptical trainer. Do you have any idea what a pain in the *$% it is to make coffee and do dishes without a kitchen sink?

We went today to pick out new cabinets and countertops. Thankfully, insurance will cover most of the cost. And the new kitchen will be lovely. When we get it. We have no ETA on when we’ll get a kitchen sink. But when Rob figures out that this is all because of my dishwasher karma, I may be needing a new place to live.

Anyone have a spare bedroom and need a new kitchen?


Patience-please said...

What did I miss? Who is Mona?

Very funny (for me, not so much for you having to live through it, no doubt)!

You are welcome to visit anytime, but I'll keep my kitchen the way it is, thanks...


White said...

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Jenn and the City

An Award

An Award
Thanks Patience!

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